Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
