Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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