she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
