i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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