Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
