Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
