Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
