I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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