I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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