I just made out with a guy for $7.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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