You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
