Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't want my vagina anymore.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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