We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
