Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
