You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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