let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
