Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she woke up with a sticky ear
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
