A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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