Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We are two peas in an std pod
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
