I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
