Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
