i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
