i just had sex bonerless
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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