Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
