I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Four minutes until I can fart!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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