can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
