Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
MIDGETS
????
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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