Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
