Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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