at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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