I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
