i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
