you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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