Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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