Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
