So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
this boner is exhausting
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
