That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
