Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
