I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
