I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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