hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
