So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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