New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
