I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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