I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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