Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think my vagina is haunted
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
