Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
