What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
