im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am naked and annoyed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
