He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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