she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Alive.
So much puke
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
