Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
